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Online Trends

Published December 22nd 2011

Six of the Weirdest Web Browsers You’ll Probably Never Use

Here at Brandwatch, we have designed our product to be compatible with all of the major browsers. You can use it in Chrome, Firefox, Safari and even everyone’s favourite browser: Internet Explorer.

However, not everyone uses the big players, and there are a few obscure browsers out there that we certainly don’t recommend to use with our lovely app.

SpaceTime 3D

This impractical browser was first revealed in 2008, at the prestigious CES tradeshow. In theory, it allows you to view multiple thumbnails of your search results, so you can preview the potential pages to click on.

Bear in mind this was way back when Google didn’t offer such a service, so it would have seemed lees like a Chindōgu then than it does now.

In practice however, the browser demands a little too much of your computer, and any ease gained by the slickness of interface is lost by the sluggish pace that the sites load up. The most up-to-date version of SpaceTime allows you to search Wikipedia, Youtube, Google and Images within your existing browser without the hassle of downloading the dedicated 3D browser.

Verdict: About as useful as this amazing avocado saver.

3B

Take a little bit of Second Life, stir in a few cubes of The Sims, add a touch of Netscape Navigator and shake well. Garnish it with a slice of the original Doom PC game and you have yourself a delicious, navigable web browser.

How on earth it’s supposed to help in any way, and what the actual point of the whole thing is, is another matter. Just sit back, admire and try and manoeuvre your way through the internet in a glorious 3D environment.

Verdict: Like a meta version of everything invented on the internet. Unfortunately, it’s confusing and completely pointless.

Retawq

For those that need to surf the web but only have a text-based terminal available, Retawq is here for you. Just how Brandwatch would work in an ASCII-exclusive format, we don’t know, but we’d certainly like to see the type of dedicated individual that would choose to use this browser over conventional ones.

Retawq is even available on the Nintendo DS, so if you wanted to add another obstacle between you and experiencing our app properly then right there is another opportunity to do so.

Verdict: Certainly has its purpose, but would struggle to display our sexy futuristic pixels.

Anchorun

More of a plugin than a browser, this Mozilla Firefox-enabled program takes away all the stress of internet browsing by simply taking away internet browsing. For those so lazy that they can’t even be bothered to actually choose which websites they visit, Anchorum will be there for them.

This automated tool works by endlessly clicking through links on websites to even further sites, and probably has some practical applications with regard to software testing.

Locating the Brandwatch app landing page is theoretically possible, but the odds are incredibly unlikely that Anchorum will ever find its way here. How tragic.

Verdict: Like channel-surfing, but without the work. There’s never anything good on though.

XeroBank


Putting the fun back into browsing! Wait… maybe not. The XeroBank browser promises to make browsing more secure than ever, though in reality it is the same as Chrome or Firefox with modified settings. Its other selling point is the unprecedented level of privacy it supposedly affords.

It allows the user to perform an anonymity checker and deletes all history and cookies as the browser is closed, not to mention it does not automatically come with Flash or password-saving features.

Xerobank is ideal for those regular moments when guys ‘want to buy their partner a present without her knowing’.

It’s selfish hold on data and unwillingness to co-operate may well hinder its handling of the Brandwatch app, but there’s no major reason why it won’t work to some extent.

Verdict: Perfect for those with something to hide, not something to find.

Rockmelt

Like lava, this browser is specifically designed to turn hard rock into a molten liquid. Well actually, that doesn’t make any sense, so Rockmelt’s real purpose is to make social sharing as simple as possible.

The browser features instant news alerts, built-in chat, Facebook notifications, view later facilities and one-click sharing, among others. It’s the web browser of choice for Perez Hilton. Probably.  We have no evidence of that.

Verdict: Probably the sanest of the selection presented here, which in reality isn’t saying much.

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Crimson Hexagon has merged with Brandwatch. You’re in the right place!

From May 8th, all Crimson Hexagon products are now on the Brandwatch website. You’ll find them under ‘Products’ in the navigation. If you’re an existing customer and you want to know more, your account manager will be happy to help.